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September 08, 2009

The Ballad of Dirty McGirky

By Dave Briggs

The Ballad of Dirty McGirky

 

 

The Ballad of Dirty McGirky and more Post Parade Magic starring Billy 0'Donnell and Jackie Mo.
 
 
 
Favourite answers from past Post Parades
 
Bill O’Donnell (above, April 15, 2004):
What other moment in your life comes closest to the feeling you get winning a big stakes race?
“It’s x-rated.”
 
What’s the biggest practical joke you ever pulled?
“One of the ones was on Jack Moiseyev. One time we came up to London from New Jersey for Doug Brown’s Easter Seals charity events at Western Fair. Jack didn’t know anyone up here so he asked to look at a program. After looking at it awhile, he said, ‘Who’s this Dave Wall guy? He’s all over the program.’ I said, ‘Oh, that guy. They call him Dirty McGirky. He’s a nasty son-of-a-bitch. He’s dirty and rotten, especially if there’s a new guy coming in.’
Mike Saftic was with us and he was playing right along, too. We all had lunch together — Wall was there, too — and afterward Jack says, ‘That guy seems okay to me.’ I said, ‘Don’t let him fool you, When he gets on the track he’s as dirty as they come. Watch out.’
“So, I tell Wally and he’s in on it and during the post parade he comes up behind Jack and tries to scare him. In the race going into the first turn, Jack’s on the inside, I’m behind him and Wally comes right up on the outside of Jack and Jack looks over and yells at Wally, ‘Get away from me you bastard. I’ve heard about you.’”
 
 
 
Mark Ford (above, May 13, 2004):
What drives you crazy?
“Being unjustly portrayed as the villain.”
 
If you could pick one super power to have, what would it be?
“The ability to make people evaporate.”
 
 
The Commish
Everyone gets the “If you were the Commissioner of all of harness racing...” question. Here’s the best responses.
 
 
Ian Fleming (above, Aug. 20, 2009):
“Encourage people to cut back on their grumbling. Racing isn’t the only tough business out there. In Clinton, we have three variety stores. It’s similar to the horse business, very long hours. The one I go to is run by a family that is happy, all the time. They are gaining customers, all the time. We have to fight about some things, but surely not everything.”
 
 
 
 
John Campbell (above, April 28, 2005):
“Universalize our rules on racing, medication, everything. We should have universal rules, especially between Canada and the United States. The whipping rule is one of the biggest things and the pylon rule. To me, it is ludicrous when a guy is sitting in a simulcast parlour and the two biggest simulcasting outlets, Woodbine and the Meadowlands, have different rules on whipping and pylons violations.”
 
 
Charlie Leerhsen (above, June 12, 2008):
“Order every track to send a bus to local colleges every Friday and Saturday night, to bring the kids to the track. But I would charge students for the bus ride and charge them to get in the track. If you think you’re going to draw more people by charging nothing, you don’t know human nature.”
 
 
Handicapping Challenge
Post Parade subjects set the odds when asked the “chances the following will occur in the next 10 years”
 
Betting on harness racing will reverse the current trend and start rising?
Ron Gurfein (March 20, 2008) — “It has already. We’ve hit rock bottom. Now the trick is to keep the trend going up for awhile.”
Moira Fanning (Oct. 18, 2008) — “2-1. Ontrack betting? 50-1”
Hugh Mitchell (Nov. 27, 2008) — “100-1.”
Kelly Spencer (Jan. 5, 2009) — “2-1”
Chris Roberts (Jan. 22, 2009) — “3-1”
Chuck Keeling (March 26, 2009) — “10-1”
Hec Clouthier (Feb. 12, 2009) — “4-1”
 
 

 

 

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August 25, 2009

Past Posts

By Dave Briggs

Past Posts

Favourite answers from past Post Parades
 
John Campbell (April 28, 2005):
What’s your best “brush with a celebrity” story?
“I play a lot of golf with (NBA TV analyst and former NFL player) Ahmad Rashad, who’s a really good friend of mine. I played with him and Michael Jordan one day. We were playing a par 3 over water. I hit my first shot in the water. I put my next shot in the hole. I was bitter about putting my first one in the water. I was kind of excited about going in the hole. Ahmad couldn’t believe it. He said, ‘It’s in the hole.’ Jordan hardly batted an eye, looked up and said, ‘Nice par.’ Ahmad and I still laugh about that. It didn’t phase him one iota.”
 
Ray Schnittker (July 24, 2008):
What song, album or artist reminds you of high school?
“Probably some country and western song, but I wasn’t really big into music in high school. I was into drinking and partying and trying to get laid.”
 
Hugh Mitchell (Nov. 27, 2008):
When was the last time you danced?
“This past summer... I accidentally urinated on a hot wire in my pasture fence!”
 
You’ve developed a reputation as a tough guy in terms of enforcing racetrack rules. Who is the toughest man alive?
“Nelson Mandela — He puts his principles ahead of himself.”
 
What do you fear?
“Not doing what’s right.”
 
 
The Commish
Everyone gets the “If you were the Commissioner of all of harness racing...” question. Here’s some of the best responses.
 
Geoff Stein (May 26, 2005):
“Hire Billy O’Donnell. That’s the man for the job. He’d be my right-hand man.”
 
John Bax (Oct. 16, 2008):
“I would change the purse structure to reflect the investment in horses.”
 
Alan Kirschenbaum (Jan. 17, 2008):
“Develop a once-a-week, multi-track Pick-8 wager, in which all the slot tracks teamed up to seed the mutuel pool and offer a guarantee of a few hundred thousand dollars, with a carryover to the following weekend if it isn’t hit. Give someone the chance to get rich for a $20 investment — like the person who plays the dollar slots or buys twenty scratchers — and spend money on marketing and television time to get people to notice. Why that isn’t happening now, I have no idea.”
 
Handicapping Challenge
Post Parade subjects set the odds when asked the “chances the following will occur in the next 10 years”
 
Slots will come to the Meadowlands
Geoff Stein (May 26, 2005) — “2-1”
Bob Marks (Feb. 28, 2008) — “1-5.”
Ron Gurfein (March 20, 2008) —“1-9.”
Hugh Mitchell (Nov. 27, 2008)— “Even money.”
David Scharf (May 1, 2008) — “3-1. For sure we aren’t seeing them for the next three years as the supplement from the casinos just arrived. There is going to be a time when all tracks will have them and the Meadowlands will too.”
Moira Fanning (Oct. 18, 2008) — “3-1”
 

 

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