The Canadian Sportsman
Off Course
Back To Off CourseFebruary 26, 2010
Sports Illustrated has long been collecting and publishing ‘Signs of the Apocalypse,’ whereby some event, action or behaviour is so ridiculous that it simply must portend the imminent collapse of mankind.
It’s amazing how often I see other ominous ‘signs’ in the pages of the regular old newspaper, usually in the police blotter or thanks to some obscure headline. It happens so much that I come back to the same question time and time again: What in the hell is the matter with people?
In one of our favourite all-time Post Parade answers, trainer Mark Ford said that the one superpower he’d like to have is the ability to make people evaporate.
With that in mind, let’s start with the 52-year-old Louisiana woman who recently plead guilty to attempting to sell two children, aged five and four, who had been left in her care, to another couple in exchange for an exotic bird and $175 cash.
Hmmmm.
Just to review, three adults who were presumably raised in some sort of society — and not by wolves — and subjected to at least a minimal amount of education, decided it was reasonable to swing the kids-for-bird deal.
Oops, I forgot about the $175. How exactly did they arrive at that figure? I’m going to assume something like this:
Completely wretched person #1: “So lemme get this straight, I give you the two kids and you give me the bird and $200?”
Completely wretched person #2: “No, no — $175.”
Completely wretched person #1: “Sounds fair. Okay, deal.”
If that story wasn’t disheartening enough, there is also the case of the 35-year-old Pennsylvania woman who was recently convicted of animal cruelty for piercing three black kittens and attempting to sell them over the Internet as a ‘Goth’ accessory.
I’m not sure what’s worse — the fact that she had the idea for ‘Goth kittens’ or that there was apparently a market for this crap. Laughably, her defense attorneys argued that parents allow children to get pierced ears at young ages and it would be wrong to hold cat owners to a higher standard.
Clearly, as a society, we are only one degree of separation away from someone trying to trade Goth cats and $175 for two kids and an exotic bird.
Let's hope they evaporate before that happens.
Comments (1)
Print
Displaying 1 to 1 of 1
- 1
1.
March 4, 2010
11:53 AM
11:53 AM
I guess you just can't put a price on a good bird....
~ S.H.
RESULTS 1 TO 1
- 1
Add Your Comment
Blog Archives
