The Canadian Sportsman
Off Course
Back To Off CourseOctober 23, 2009
Face it, my harness racing friends, we’re all going to die — soon
For the sixth straight fantastic year my friends at CBC are predicting this will, definitely, without a doubt, be THE YEAR we will all die a gruesome death in a flu pandemic.
The secret to being right about apocalyptic predictions is to apply a little fortitude and good-old CBC perseverance. Keep carrying that World Will End in 7 Days sign and you’re bound to be right one of these days.
In the latest round of breathless reporting about how it is inevitable all of us will be bleeding through our eyeballs, there has been a particular focus on which demographic is most susceptible to get the Piggy Flu first and get the honour of experiencing their excruciating death the soonest.
The conversation then turned to that fun parlour game about which person in the lifeboat should be the first to be eaten when times get desperate — priest, cop, baker, candlestick maker, porn star? Namely, which people should get the Piggy Flu vaccine first and thus live to inherit the earth. Health officials and medical responders made the list, of course. Balloon Dad, did not. No surprise there.
Now, as a harness racing trade journalist, with no real value to society, I find such hierarchal rankings distasteful to the extreme.
But, it also got me thinking about which of us in the harness racing business should get the Piggy Flu vaccine first. What exactly is our triage protocol for the industry? Which of us needs to live to repopulate the earth with harness racing folks?
Discuss amongst yourselves. While you still can.
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