The Canadian Sportsman
Off Course
Back To Off CourseOctober 27, 2010
Long before THE WEATHER BOMB fizzled faster than a soggy sparkler, I was suspicious.
Yesterday, as a huge line of serious-looking storms ripped through the Midwest (you know they’re serious by the dark, angry colours on the radar image), the fine folks at Environment Canada were tripping over themselves to tell all of Ontario, literally, to take cover. THE WEATHER BOMB was coming, didn’t you know?
Thank goodness, their dire predictions — as with many of their predictions — proved false. Lots of rain. A little windy. A long way from Mother Nature’s version of 10 tons of explosives.
Sure, it’s better to over-warn and over-prepare in the event of potential disaster than the alternative, but it still got me thinking a few things:
(1) Was THE WEATHER BOMB brought to us by the same folks who tried to scare the bejesus out of us with the 2009 apocalyptic death bug pandemic-that-wasn’t known as the Piggy Flu? And, if so, how would a giant pharmaceutical company benefit from THE WEATHER BOMB?
(2) Who came up with the super scary, super awesome name THE WEATHER BOMB, what does it mean, exactly — besides impending doom — and are they same person who came up with SNOWMAGEDDON?
(3) Did whoever came up with THE WEATHER BOMB name and well-coordinated campaign of fear get called on the carpet this morning? I ask despite assuming it’s not bloody likely.
(4) Is THE WEATHER BOMB, in name at least, simply the product of a weather dork’s addled mind? The kind of mind constantly numbed by the sheer boredom of trying to track and guess the ferocity of cold fronts? (Which is also why I’m convinced they came up with Doppler 3D radar, which is practically Halo for weather geeks — to keep them entertained)
(5) Is THE WEATHER BOMB exactly the kind of thing that five days a year allows the meteorologists to sit at the cool kids’ table? Until, that is, the cool kids find out the meteorologist is the nimrod they always thought he was and atomic wedgies ensue.
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