The Canadian Sportsman
Know What I Hate?
Back To Know What I Hate?October 02, 2009
I hate turtleneck sweaters. They scratch my skin and give me a headache.
My daughter Beckie gave me one for my birthday last month. She said that I needed some colour in my wardrobe so she picked out a red one with a small white snowflake embroidered on the neck. All of which would be good if I was a 45-year-old spinster music teacher.
Why did I need this? She’s got a heart of gold, but she should have saved her money. Times are hard and I need a red-snowflake turtleneck like I need a $1 win ticket on a 1-9 shot.
The stupid sweater has been in my closet since I got it. Bernie convinced me to wear it for the first time the other day when I was going to take Beckie out for supper. I had a headache within minutes. With some time to kill before Beckie got off work, I slipped into Flamboro for a few races.
My racing buddy Carl shook his head. “What’s with the sweater? You look like a fat librarian.” I decided not to mention that Carl’s wife is, in fact, a fat librarian and asked him who he liked in the 5th. We threw in together and took a flyer on a triactor. The favourite broke and we cashed in. The next race I had 10 across on a 5-1 shot that came in.
“Maybe it’s your lucky lady sweater,” said Carl.
God, I hope not.
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