The Canadian Sportsman
Archive for October, 2009
I have a love-hate relationship with Facebook. Mostly hate.
I’ve always been basically a ‘grazer’ on the popular social-networking site — someone who peeks in to check out what her friends are up to every now and then, but not someone who will linger to play games, post photographs, answer 25 questions about my personality or update my status. That last one is key. I have never updated my status. Not once. I find it.... (searching for the right word).... insufferable.
Now, long ago I realized that Facebook wasn’t really for me, but rather for the mothers of young children to post photographs, to discuss developmental milestones and to keep the world breathlessly waiting for the next update on whether their kid smiled, slept or crapped this morning.
I accept that and I know that I’m in the minority of people who aren’t interested that: “So-and-so is.... tired because Tristen woke up four times in the night and [insert name of useless husband here] didn’t get up to help and now wonders if she should cancel the appointment with the baby photographer for this afternoon because Ashleeigh made pancakes this morning and dumped a pound of flour all over the kitchen floor and the house is a mess!!”
I didn’t think status updates could get any worse than this kind of overly-detailed adventure into the minutiae of childrearing, but then the game abruptly changed.
The new trend in status updates is to be as vague as possible, providing just a teaser and making everyone guess at what’s going on in that particular person’s life. There could be something important going on. Or, more likely, there is nothing going on except for bored people crying out for attention. This is so much worse and, I would argue, a plague on the Internet. I long for the days of too much information.
You’ll see this trend manifest itself in status updates such as:
Lauren Lee is hopeful...
Lauren Lee is in need of your help...
Lauren Lee is wishing things were different...
Lauren Lee is thinking it’s time for a change...
Lauren Lee is waiting patiently...
Or, the most egregious offender, simply, Lauren Lee is...
You know what, Facebook friends? Lauren Lee is... not playing your little game. Lauren Lee... is not going to pretend to be interested in your vague little problem or be party to your incredibly needy quest for attention.
Lauren Lee is... going to log off Facebook now and never, ever return.
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October 30, 2009
Oct. 22, 2009 Issue:
The story:
Muscle Hill has been virtually flawless and certainly Peerless as he romped through his sophomore season en route to sure-fire horse of the year honours in the U.S.
What we went with:
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What it could have been:
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October 30, 2009
Regularly, we subject people in the industry to our little brand of silliness called Post Parade in the hope you’ll get to know a little more about the people you read about in The Canadian Sportsman. Recently, the suggestion came that it would only be fair if we were subjected to the same process. For what it’s worth, here’s the second installment of Post Parade featuring Sportsman staffers. Questions by Dave Briggs.
Lauren Lee - Sportsman assistant editor
General:
How would you heal the world?
“I'm not sure, but it would definitely involve puppies. Or, maybe, red wine.”
What’s the world’s greatest invention?
“I should say the printing press, but my heart's not in it. It's a toss up between the PVR and Fantasy Football.”
What do you wish had never been invented?
“Baby showers. More specifically, games to be played at baby showers.”
You can trade places with any athlete for any one moment in sports history. Who do you pick? What moment in history is it and why?
“Kirk Gibson's walk-off home run in the 1988 World Series. Gibson fist pumping and hobbling around the bases, while announcer Jack Buck screams, ‘I don't believe what... I... just... saw’ still gives me chills more than 20 years later.”
What’s your weakness?
“I am the least assertive person in the entire world. I'm also a world-class procrastinator.”
What movie have you watched the most times?
“The Silence of the Lambs. Every psychological thriller, serial killer movie and CSI-esque television show since 1991 owes it a debt of gratitude. Pulp Fiction is a close second.”
What’s the greatest acting performance ever in a movie and why?
“See above. Anthony Hopkins/Jodie Foster (The Silence of the Lambs). Two great actors matching each other's intensity blow for blow for the entire movie, creating real tension and suspense. Both won Oscars, as did the director, screenwriter and the movie itself. Can't argue with that.”
What was your favourite cereal as a kid and what is your favourite cereal now?
“I was the kid that skipped breakfast and then felt crappy all morning. As an adult, it's Mini Wheats.”
What’s the best gift you ever received and who gave it to you?
“In terms of pure excitement, I'm told I did cartwheels around the room when my parents gave me my first Cabbage Patch Kid doll. In terms of thoughtfulness, my husband (then boyfriend) went to the ends of the earth to replace a copy of my favourite cassette tape, a limited edition Tina Turner recording, after it became obsolete. He gets extra points for his tenacious legwork in the pre-internet, pre-Ebay era.”
What did you love about growing up in Clinton, ON and what did you hate?
“I loved the complete freedom of growing up in a safe, small-town environment. I hated the lack of privacy and the fact that everyone always seems to know your business. My hatred of that is ongoing.”
Professional:
If you were the commissioner of all of harness racing what would be the first thing you would do.....?
“It's been said before, but our rules need to be universal, at very least across the board in Canada and the U.S. While we're at it, our new rules should also include a 'Bill of Rights' for both our bettors and our participants.”
How would you heal the harness racing world?
“All the big industry stakeholders need to enter marriage counseling. I'd start with a Festivus-style airing of grievances, then move on to feats of strength.”
If you could see and write about any horse in harness racing history, which one would you pick and why?
“Everyone always says, 'Dan Patch', but I've missed out on covering a lot of great ones in the more recent past. I wish my frame of reference included the likes of Mack Lobell, Moni Maker, Cam Fella and many others.”
What’s your favourite spot in all of the harness racing world and why?
“Mohawk Racetrack. It reminds me of being a kid and going to the fireworks, petting zoo, etc. with my dad.”
Who is the most underrated horseperson in racing and why?
“I'm not sure if she qualifies as 'underrated', but Paula Wellwood seems to train a top horse every single year without a lot of fanfare.”
What does harness racing need more of?
“A sense of humour.”
What’s your favourite harness racing story of the ones you’ve written and why?
“It was a few years ago now, but I wrote a story about my night on foal watch duty at Killean Acres (above). It's sort of love/hate. It was by far the longest, coldest night of my entire life, but I was happy how the story turned out.”
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